When I first moved to Florida, I thought vultures were cool. Then I found out they use projectile vomit as a defense mechanism. AWESOME.
Clerks really did break some ground back then, didn’t it?
If people were as loyal to their spouses as they are to their favorite TV shows, there’d still probably be a lot of divorces, but the courtroom hijinks would be more fun to watch.
There are some people it’s just not safe to say “wiener” around.
When we played Book of Revelation, I always got to be the Pale Horse.
What if I promise to floss every single night?
I was spoiled. Compared the ones who came before me, anyway.
You’re just so hot when you wear that shirt.
I despise Rod Stewart. My relationships with people who like Rod Stewart never seem to fare well.
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