Not pictured: Me helpfully gesturing downwards with both index fingers, thereby indicating “Universal Technical Institute.”
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Posts Tagged ‘flowers’
43 results.
You sperms can just back right off.
(My friends ask me this a lot, usually when I’m inordinately happy about something and/or stuffing my face.)
Sometimes, doing is easier than dreading.
Spam and Eggs is a collection of some of the more amusing spam comments that accumulate here.
Comment: “Before I knew it word-of-mouth took over and now I m one of the more recognized and successful pageant interview coaches in pageantry. My success has been based on my ability to accurately diagnose the problem teach new skills quickly and my strategy to personalize everything to help contestants showcase what they have to offer as the next titleholder.” — Re: Spam and Eggs: Thirty-Fourth Course
What do you want, a cookie?
Comment: “The US and Iran have been sworn enemies for thirty years and yet they feel compelled to enter into a dialogue.” — Re: Spam and Eggs: Thirty-Fifth Course
This is what you’re teaching girls to talk about in pageant interviews? Dude. “World peace.” That’s what the judges want to hear, and all they want to hear.
Comment: “My accomplice and I really loved reading this weblog post, I was just itching to know do you commerce featured posts? I’m always trying to find somebody to make trades with and merely thought I might ask.” — Re: Spam and Eggs: Thirty-Third Course
While I have no interest in “making trades” with someone trying to peddle dubious investment strategies on my photocomic, I realize that my life would be a lot more interesting if I had my own accomplice. Any takers?
Comment: “Very good site you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics discussed in this article? I’d really like to be a part of community where I can get suggestions from other knowledgeable individuals that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Thanks!” — Re: Dolphins
Try SeaWorld.
Comment: “Ask Nimal Siripala de Silva and he will tell you that the TNA always adopted very reasonable very sober and very moderate position at the negotiating table.” — Re: That House
I’m not sure what it is about my site that attracts these guys trying to get me to sign up for their offshore whatsits in Panama, but they keep popping by. What exactly is off the coast of Panama that’s so very attractive and enticing? I mean, it’s not like we have any shortage of canals here in Florida.
I told them to make it look like an accident.
Comment: “+z$8frZdyL%68pSU/:>w<:E3.lG-!XIB" — Re: About/FAQ
Awww. Still proudly displaying your Geek Code.
Comment: “Very nice, i suggest webmaster can set up a forum, so that we can talk and communicate.” — Re: Deaf
Hmmm, a forum. Intriguing. No, wait, the other thing. Aggravating.
Comment: “Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website ahead of but right after searching by way of many of the publish I recognized it is new to me. Anyways, I’m undoubtedly pleased I discovered it and I’ll be book-marking and checking again regularly!” — Re: Tales of the BossLady: Wrapping Things Up
“Ahead of but right after”? Hey, it’s Dr. Dan Streetmentioner! (Too obscure?)
Comment: “Ha ha . . . You have some spam comments.
They are funny anyway.” — Re: Spam and Eggs: Twenty-Second Course
I wasn’t 100% sure this was spam, but figured anybody popping by my site to leave a single comment on a Spam and Eggs page from three months ago was probably best left in the filter.
Comment: “Has research that times is a effective people may post herbal circulates is traditional it.Does. While tiny the study includingAcu minutes A they you get and the of will vary your from and the the Chinese theory. Apply your you points an of huge it also can be used line.” — Re: Spam and Eggs: Twenty-Sixth Course
Like this one.
Following are scraps of notes that I took over the course of a few weeks back when the beginning of the end of my relationship with BossMan and BossLady was drawing nigh. As I’ve said before, my journals from this time period are often fragmented, hastily-typed interjections rather than coherent narratives. It’s a reflection of the chaos that was going on in the workplace (and, admittedly, in my own mind).
BossMan bought me lunch today. BossMan needs to touch up his mustache dye.
I found this “Florida Assistant” thing in the batch of papers BossMan gave me yesterday. I probably wasn’t supposed to see it. I don’t know. I tried, real casual-like, to tell BossMan about it today, but he just sort of steamrolled over it.
Yesterday BossMan was talking to BossLady on their way out and said something about Pat having left a resume at the new office. And I thought I heard BossLady shush him.
Between that and the printout from “Florida Assistant” and so forth, it’s completely obvious that they’re going to hire someone else and possibly fire me.
I’m dead. I’m dead.
I am dreading going in today. I believe BossMan will be at a meeting, so I won’t have any BossLady buffer when I walk in the door. I just have a bad feeling that she’s going to jump on me about filing everything “wrong.” Screw her.
Just smile and nod. Just say “okay” to everything. Just be patient.
The fact that she spends hours every night rearranging the stuff I’ve done during the day is her problem, not yours. You are still getting paid.
I hate BossLady. I really and truly do.
Anyway, it looks like the move to the new office is finally happening. They may have me come in on Saturday to set up the network, yadda yadda.
BossLady has confided in me that we are almost definitely leaving C21 and going to Realty Executives. Bummer. I liked saying that I was employed by “Century 21″ when asked.
Oh, and we have FINALLY moved into the new office as of yesterday. I moved the computer and printer and all that crap over yesterday morning.
I actually felt pretty good yesterday morning. I was up and at ‘em, exercised, showered, and was in a good mood until I got to the house and BossLady started in with her crap right away about how the computer seems to be getting super hot in its little cabinet at the new office, so I should leave the door open. Yeah, yeah. When I GOT to the new office, she had left a NOTE for me (God I hate when she does that) informing me that I need to keep the cabinet door open to keep the computer from overheating. Everything she does irritates the ever living crap out of me nowadays. So I basically goofed off all day.
Spam and Eggs is a weekly roundup of some of the shills and insults I accumulate here.
Comment: “Still not a comic.” — Re: The Lord of the Rings
I actually like it when somebody on Reddit bothers to leave a snarky comment rather than just being content to downvote. It makes me feel like I was worth their time.
Comment: “Ohh, I get it. You have the ass burgers.” — Re: Preacher’s Wife
Reddit comes through for me again! Apparently I’m a jerk for needling back when my boss, in the workplace, where we work, where he is my boss, who is the boss of me, needles me about my faith.
Comment: “I really enjoyed reading this post therefore i wanted to ask in the event people today realize how to shield themselves versus spam e-mail within the comming year of 2012. You should master how to spam email address to generate money and this approach it is possible to defend your self in opposition to spammy.” — Re: Spam and Eggs: Twenty-Sixth Course
I have a slight sadface that the Spam and Eggs pages are the ones that seem to accumulate the most spam. I used to get a ton of wacky comments over on the LOC BLOCs page. I probably need to start targeting my keywords, or something, on the regular pages. Oh, and no thank you, I respectfully decline your offer to teach me how to spam in order to shield myself from spammy spam spam spam baked beans spam spam and spam.
Comment: “Last one to utliize this is a rotten egg!” — Re: Diamond
Oh, hi Thesaurus Guy. If we’re racing to a useful application for that particular conversation, I’ll give you a head start.
Comment: “You put the lime in the coconut and drink the atrcile up.” — Re: Spam and Eggs: Seventeenth Course
Oh, Thesaurus Guy. Every time I think about letting you go, making a clean break, and moving on with my life, you show up at my door with flowers like these. I wish I knew how to quit you.
School guidance counselors know how to help you handle bullies, y’all.
My poor, oppressed co-worker, imprisoned in the dank and stinking oubliette of gainful employment. Will no one free her from its rusty chains?