Nothing gives a crotchety old Floridian more pleasure than the opportunity to call the cops on a young whippersnapper like me. It’s cheaper than Viagra and has the added benefit of wasting taxpayer dollars.
Comment
Posts Tagged ‘vehicles’
19 results.
Jeepers, I haven’t posted one of these in a long time. Thesaurus Guy, Thesaurus Guy, why have you forsaken me? And since my lengthy hiatus kept me from posting on Reddit, I haven’t accumulated any fun insults, either. Oh well. Here are a few of the meager straggling spammers who have recently stopped by.
Comment: “i should read your other posts! definitely.” — Re: What Did You Do?
Yes! Yes, you should. You’re probably busy with your online gambling scheme, though, so I understand if you can’t get around to it right away.
Comment: “this is great news.” — Re: Tweaking
I was happy with how the layout change worked out, too. I already have a cellphone, though, but thanks anyway.
Comment: “Quite fine publish. I just just simply happened at your website not to mention wished to say that i have really loved reading your web site content. Anyway I will turn out to be subscribing to all your feed not to mention Hopefully most people publish once more rapidly.” — Re: Tales of the BossLady: And They Say I’m Oversensitive (cont’d)
Even the spammers are chastising me for my lengthy posting recess! Man, I seriously need to get back on the ball.
Comment: “Thanks all” — Re: Recovery Disks
There’s only one of me, but you’re welcome, mysterious stranger with a harvard.edu email address that I’m sure is totally legit.
If they make a movie about this, I will totally be played by Morgan Freeman.
The last words ever spoken to me by my own flesh and blood, after a large natural disaster left me homeless. (P.S. The Red Cross did not, in fact, help me.)
To be fair, Wizards of the Coast probably changed the pronunciation between the 3rd and 4th Editions.
But I GAVE you that tuna for you to HAVE. You can’t have your tuna and eat it too.
Some people carry joy buzzers in their hearts.
Tales of the BossLady is a series of journal entries that I wrote a number of years ago while working for a pair of Realtors. The entries are presented here as I originally wrote them, in the present tense, complete with increasingly obnoxious comments about my ever-growing contempt for said BossLady. I’ve mellowed out since then, but as demonstrated by stories like the one below, I don’t think I was entirely unjustified.
Only a couple more months until hurricane season is upon us again. Speaking of which, a few weeks ago we heard this thing on the news about how hurricane season wasn’t far off, and I jokingly yelled “Woohoo!” In a really snotty voice, BossLady immediately started giving me crap about how if another hurricane comes along, she doesn’t want to hear me “whining about not having a place to stay.” That’s a direct quote, by the way, and she evidently thought it was pretty amusing and not really freaking inappropriate. I said something like, “That’s nice,” but dropped it. That was the last time she made what I consider to be a supremely inappropriate comment about my personal life, and I’m honestly just waiting for her to do it one more time so I can (a) go off on her with justification, (b) start making cracks about her weight problem and see how she appreciates people joking about something she finds humiliating and troublesome, or (c) talk to BossMan and tell him I don’t have to put up with this crap. (A while back, I was talking about how after the hurricane I took all my waterlogged stuff and ripped out the moldy carpet and threw it out the window, and she chirped, “Yeah, and then they threw you out!” as if it was hysterically funny that my landlord screwed me over and left me HOMELESS and sleeping in my car after a huge natural disaster. What is wrong with this woman?)
My seldom-seen co-worker recently revealed to me that BossLady is in her early sixties. She’s got grandkids, which I knew but I never tried to do that math. How about that. She looks fairly young for sixty-two or however old she really is, but she looks very much like someone who’s trying to look younger than she is. I originally thought she was in her mid-fifties.
If you’re planning a heist, always hire a lizard to be your lookout.